I Got the Kidney Stone Blues

Woke up the other morning, felt like I died,
Like somebody kicked me, put a fist in my side.
In pain and confused, I got the kidney stone blues.

In my kidney, in my bladder, stuck in my ureter too,
Like a bullet’s been shattered, a steel razor going through;
I was payin’ more than dues, I got the kidney stone blues.

[Bridge]  They put in a stent, I got litho-tripped,
Stuck in a scope to see and zap and laser it.
I took some pain pills, but then I got the shakes;
Nauseated, constipated, they didn’t cut me no break.

I seem to get ‘em, just about every few years.
No matter what I drink or eat, they always appear.
My mom and son had ‘em too; I got the kidney stone blues.

Phosphate, uric acid, calcium stones – I get ‘em all.
Ragged, jagged, with spurs, even get ‘em embedded in my kidney wall.
The time and money I lose – I got the kidney stone blues.

[Bridge] I’ve been told that having a baby, or a herniated disc
Are about the only pains that come close to this.
All I know is every time they come about,
I wanna get sedated, and get these suckers out!